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July 5, 2000 House Mates From Hell Part Deux

I knew that it would eventually happen, and I'm glad it did. My housemates had found this web site, and were very upset by it to say the least. I had composed an e-mail a long long time ago, but I never sent it because I didn't know Lauren's address.

But TJ confronted me yesterday when I was moving in to the new apartment, and I showed him this letter that was intended for him and Lauren. He read it and sent it to Lauren. This is the e-mail.

It is obvious that we have been experiencing a very unpleasant time with each other since April, and I know that I have maintained a very hostile, tense and anti-social attitude. Since we will continue to live with each other this coming school year, I feel the need to communicate some of my feelings and concerns to both of you.

I have been thinking about our living situation, and I have come to a conclusion. I think our life styles are too different to create a friendly and workable environment. I have felt this way for most of the past year, but it became extremely apparent between April and May. I had refrained from cleaning during the weekend before, and I was amazed at the amount of filth that was produced and the lack of effort made to rectify the situation.

Although cleaning schedules can be resolved, I'm sorry to say that I face a much larger problem with you. I find myself extremely paranoid about my possessions because I have lost all of my trust in you. Finding Terry in my bed, cigarette ashes and butts all over my room, the obnoxious message written on my calendar, an empty bottle of cranberry juice in the fridge, which had been on my shelf with the seal unbroken, and a bag of Oreos mysteriously consumed, was more than irritating, it destroyed my trust in both of you.

In addition to the loss of my trust in you, I also understand that the general feeling towards me is not very pleasant. I just wish that your problems with me had been communicated to me directly as opposed to being posted on TJ's web site.

The web site entries is a trivial and rather juvenile matter, and as for the trust issue, I have installed a lock on my door to relieve my paranoia. Although it may seem as though I have put the past behind me, but that is not my nature.

Because I have moved on (so to speak) while keeping unresolved problems in mind, I am now in a slightly altered situation. I question if it is possible to revitalize our relationship. Personally, I think reinstating a friendship is somewhat overly ambitious and I think that you (TJ) wouldn't even want to exert the energy. Furthermore, it is impossible to rebuild a friendship if trust is not in the foundation.

So where does this take us. In all honesty, I really don't know. I guess the point of this e-mail is to let you know how I feel and the way I see things. I do not know what your feelings are, and if you wish to take this e-mail offensively and abandon the idea of having a healthy relationship with me, then that is your prerogative.

In any event, I feel that I have communicated everything that I needed to, so reply to this whenever you please, or don't reply if that pleases you more.

“Encantado …”

You might consider it hypocritical of me to comment on the juvenile tactic of posting mean spirited entries on an on-line journal, but the entry was posted after the e-mail was written, and I always believed in “if you can't beat them, join them.”

I'll be sure to post a follow up as to what came out of all this.